So I have finally done it. I have met my other sister Kathleen. It has taken over 15 years to find her but I did it thanks to Myspace and friends on myspace. Barb, Lisa, and Kelli and I can not forget my special friend my search angel Laura. she is truly a wonderful person. She came on Tuesday December 18 2008 from Texas. She drove from Texas with her husband Jimmy and there 19 month old daughter Ariana. It was great. I cried she cried my daughter Isabella cried. The feelings that were going through me are so hard to explain. It's like a lost piece if my life had been found and placed in the right place. She looks so much like me. It makes me feel like I belong somewhere now. We have been chatting for about 6 months online and on the phone so we learned a lot about each other already but we learned so much more. She came over the Friday after the 18th to trim the tree with me and my husband and her husband no kids it was great. We laughed so much and drank a few drinks. It felt like we had known each other for ever. She is so smart and beautiful and I'm so glad I found her and she is know a part of my life. they then came over on Christmas eve and we got the house and food ready for Christmas day because all of my and Steve's family was coming. Christmas morning came and I woke my little sister up so she could take a shower before the kids got up. What a great feeling saying little sister. We opened gifts and it was so nice. Our real first Christmas together. We had probably had some before before we were put in foster care but neither one of us could remmeber. Then around 9 am our brother calls and wishes me a Merry Christmas. Know just so you all know. Our other sister Jamie and brother Eric did not know she was here. She was not ready to meet them yet. I have met Jamie a few times but have not established a connection with her yet and I have talked to our brother on the phone a few times but have not met him yet. It was very nice of him to call and wish me a Merry Christmas since we had not met yet. I was very touched. Jamie found me about 6 years ago and we met a few times then after a she stopped contact. I was very hurt by this as I wanted to establish a relationship. I sent emails and cards and nothing. when I signed on to myspace in March I found her again and friended her and she accepted. we talked online a few times and I gave her my phone numbers but she still has yet to call and she lives only 45 minutes from me and my sister Kathleen lives in Texas and has called me so many times and the first few weeks we talked every night. So then Tuesday night they had to go back to there condo so they could visit with his family. Because they are originally from Massachusetts. It was very emotional and I cried a lot. But she came back Wednesday and slept over and we slept in the same bed like a slumber party and stayed up until 3 laughing and acting like little sisters. it was so fun. Well then Thursday we went to see were i grew up and were she grew up and then we did something crazy..... We drove to were our Birth mother lives. Know we had every intention of at least driving by because the search angel had given me the address. So we drove by and well.....I got out of the car to see if her name was on the buzzer and it was ran back to the car and said it's her what do you want to do and we thought and parked and stood on the stoop and a few minutes went by and I pushed the buzzer. well by know we are shaking and saying how we are gonna puck. I mean really think about this we haven't seen her since we were 5 and younger and neither one of us has any real memories of her. so she buzzes us in I'm like holy shit she buzzed us in with out asking who we were. so were shaking climbing the stairs get to her door and she opens it. so me being outspoken says are you so and so and she says yes you can tell she is nervous and we say do you know who we are i say our names and you think she is gonna faint. she then blurts out it's not a good time so then I'm think great another disappointment. But what it was is that we have another sister who is 23 and just got diagnosed with cancer and just got back from chemo so she lets me in and goes to get our half sister fay. Well fay knew all about us. so Kathleen really is not talking much and I'm just asking a few things then blurt out about pictures and anything else she might have. She has some pictures and birth certificate. can you believe this my whole life I have had nothing from 8 and younger and know I might have a few pics and birth certificate with baby foot prints. So she has mine, Jamie's, and Eric's with footprints but not kathleen's with footprints hers is just the the one with out them. I could see this hurt her and it would me too. But from what we found out we are going to be able to get lots more pics and more info. So this is it in a nut shell. It was very surreal meeting her and I really have no emotions one way or another about her. But I think that is normal. We want to keep contact up with our half sister Fay especially with finding out she has cancer. Well know you can go see all the nice pictures. Sorry so long but had alot to tell.

There will be more to blog about as i have know met my bio brother!

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The Beginning

Hi my name is Page and I'm adopted. Yes that's me Page the adoptee. When I tell people this they look at me like I have a disease. No adoption is not catchy don't worry. I've always known I was adopted. I was a foster kid for many years and when I came to my AP house I was 7 almost 8 and knew this is were I wanted to stay. I did not want to move anymore. I told them they were going to be my mommy and daddy. I wanted a family so bad it hurt. I would do anything to please them. I was on my best behavior all the time and went out of my way to be good. There were other children in the house who were also foster kids. They weren't as good and didn't want to be. They were older and wanted to live a crazy life. Drinking and drugs is what made them feel better. I never could understand this. I knew all I wanted was to have a mommy and daddy that hugged me when they put me to bed and who told me they were proud of me. I wanted to feel loved. I never felt love before then. I never remember anyone hugging me or holding me close. I don't remember anyone saying they loved me or were proud of me. I do remember pain and sadness. I remember being alone and afraid. Of crying myself to sleep because I was hungry and scared to ask for food. I don't remember any people in my life I only remember feelings. feelings that were easily hurt and hurt often.

I don't even have a baby picture or a birth certificate. I can't compare myself to my two beautiful daughters because the first picture I have is at 7.5 from the foster parents that later adopted me. How sad is that. I never wanted to do a family tree in school because I didn't have a family. Yes I have my adopted family but to me they were not my family tree until I got older and understood adoption more. I knew what it meant to be adopted but did not know what it really meant to be chosen by a family. They chose me, they wanted me, they loved me.

I've always wondered. Why? Why did this happen to me why did she not want me why did my life have to be so hard. I think because every person has a certain path they must take in there life and this is my path. It's a bit crooked but it's mine. It's got lots of bumps but who's doesn't.